Alone
by hopelesslyhalfhearted
Summary: She said it in such a dreamy way and her eyes seemed to drift away for a moment, it seemed that just thinking about him sent her crazy. That's what Teddy called it when she was like this.


**I do love them and intended to leave this with a happy and resolved ending. But it didn't quite turn out like that.**

She was more beautiful than anything he had ever seen; she always had been, even as a screaming baby, wrinkled and red. Not that he could remember her like that, no, he had only been 3, but he had seen pictures. She even looked beautiful now, her hair knotted from being out in the wind and her face bright red after running after he younger cousins for the better part of the afternoon. He'd heard the stories of her devilish antics as a child, as well as experiencing a fair few himself. He'd been the subject of many a prank, been a substitute for a punch bag when her anger erupted and, on occasion, been manipulated into performing a task for her. Though, it wasn't like he needed to be manipulated, he'd do anything for her. Everybody knew that.

He'd seen her with tears staining the perfect porcelain face she owned, making their way slowly down, before dripping off cheekbones that looked like they had been sculpted by Henry Moore. He'd seen her flushed red, out of embarrassment or anger. He'd seen her whole face painted green, with pimples added on and an extra large nose formed; she'd seen Wizard of Oz and though that the representation of a witch was hilarious, thus deciding it should be her dress up outfit to one the many after 7th year summer parties. She'd joked it would have been an easier costume to achieve if she had been him, then went on to suggest that he should come to the party too, after all it wouldn't take long to put a costume together. He politely declined; being around her group of giggling girls in a normal state terrified him, he couldn't begin to imagine what they would be like drunk, and he was certain he never wanted to find out.

But it was more than that, even if he hadn't realised it until much later. She was his Vic, his innocent, perfect Vic. He didn't want to see her flirting with goodness knows who, letting tall blondes, with brilliantly blue eyes, shove their tongue down her throat. He didn't want to see that. When he first came to this conclusion, he'd thought he hadn't wanted to see the young girl he had known being spoilt. That he couldn't have born seeing her act that way.

But then came his next conclusion.

He was jealous. He was a green-eyed monster, jealous of every boy that ever touched her. Jealous of every single one of those blondes, with the brilliant blue eyes, that got to be hers and got her as theirs. He wanted her to be his, just like he had always been hers. He had always belonged to her, ever since the cheeky child she once was had told pre-teen him her biggest secret. She was scared of the dark.

But she was never going to be his, no matter how much of himself he gave away to her. Because he was Teddy; kind, dependable, boring Teddy. He was the boy who had been asked "Are you my cousin?" He was the friend who stood by, silently dying inside every time he saw her. He wasn't exciting like the rest of them; he would never give her the thrills they managed.

And the worst thing...

He knew would never break her heart like they did.

"Earth to Teddy," It was only then that Teddy realised someone had been talking to him. He forced himself to stop thinking about her, he knew if he continued his mind would turn to creating fantasies, in which the child that sat on her knee, playing with her long, almost silver, locks, was not her cousin, but instead their child. His little girl. In his mind the red hair of the child started to turn blonde, just like hers, and its eyes flashed different colours, just like he could make his. Its small smile became just like the young woman's who tickled the child.

But that was only in his imagination.

In the reality of the large room, full with the Weasley clan, the child's hair still matched the colour of the flames that danced around in the fireplace.

"Huh?" He turned to look at his godfather's wife, whom he had come to think of as a godmother, wondering what they had been talking about.

"Lil wants to know why you're the only single adult in this room," He looked towards where Lilly sat, too late realising it was on Victoire's knee, and in looking at the child he would inevitably have to take in that painfully beautiful face. He glared at the child, "Why'd you ask that?" he questioned with his look. She simply stuck her tongue out.

"What about Victoire?" Teddy pointed out. "She's single,"

"Wow, you really were out of it," Ron laughed, along with every other person in the room. Teddy looked positively confused.

"We've been talking about her new boyfriend for 10 minutes," Harry explained helpfully, looking sympathetically at his godson, well accustomed to his daydreaming.

"Oh," He took a while to process the information, though was careful not to hesitate for too long. He didn't want people starting to think things. "What's his name?"

"Sam," It was her who had answered, her in her breezy, sing-song voice. She said it in such a dreamy way and her eyes seemed to drift away for a moment, it seemed that just thinking about him sent her crazy. That's what Teddy called it when she was like this. She wasn't in love, she didn't care about them, god, he didn't even count it as lust. No, she was just plain simple crazy. Crazy to fall for a guy after knowing them for a couple of weeks, crazy for letting him get under her skin, crazy for not foreseeing the inevitable heart break...and craziest of all, in his mind at least, was that the guy wasn't him. Yes, she wasn't definitely crazy.

"What does he do?"

"He's a healer," She said it with a certain pride, emphasising the word healer, trying to rub it in Teddy's face that he had a boring office job, whilst the guy who got her was out saving people. It was like she was telling him straight out that you had to be of a certain calibre to deserve Victoire Apolline Weasley.

Or maybe that was just his mind playing tricks again.

"Nice," He couldn't think of anything else to say. He had a distant memory of a muggle teacher telling him it was the least imaginative adjective in the English language, one that should never be used and one that should be taken out of the dictionary. The teacher had a vendetta against nice.

"Teddy," He looked to where the little voice came from, indicating Lilly to continue. "Can you help me with my telescope?" Ah, yes. That's what he was good for, telescope help. Not like Victoire's type. No, they were all good at helping with nothing. Maybe they'd play quidditch with the kids, although it was very rare that one lasted long enough to visit the family.

"Sure," He pulled himself up from the sofa rather sluggishly and dutifully picked up the brass telescope, along with its mount. He'd bought her it for Christmas, from the shop in Diagon Alley. It was considerably more expensive than other presents that he'd bought, but he always spoilt Lilly. Of course, the other children would have been upset to see Teddy had a favourite, so Harry helpfully suggested they say it was a shared present, from the both of them.

Lilly jumped off Victoire's lap and skipped along happily in front of Teddy.

"Coat!" Ginny called after her. On her way through the kitchen, the youngest Potter grabbed the first coat she saw, which turned out to be Teddy's and 10 sizes too big. She held to door out to the moonlit garden open for him, before hurrying off, attempting to find the perfect spot.

"I want it right here," She said happily, pointing to the ground beside her.

"Good pick," Teddy smiled. He rearranged the focus for her and adjusted it down to her height, before lying down on the grass beside her little station.

"Which one's that?" She pointed up into the night sky, but Teddy didn't even have to look to see which one she meant. There was only one constellation to be seen towards the South at this time of year.

"Orion's belt,"

"Why's it called that?"

"I'm not sure," He lied. He wasn't in a storytelling mood today.

"Do you want a look?" She offered politely, looking down on his face.

"It's ok, Lil,"

"Sure?"

"Sure," She frowned. What was wrong with him? "Are you angry 'cause I took your coat and now you're cold?" Teddy let out a loud laugh.

"No," He smiled up at her, taking in her delicate little features. She had her mother's nose, the very same nose that Vic had inherited from her father.

"But you're shivering,"

"I think my coat looks better on you," She danced around then, as if attempting to prove his point. He laughed softly. "Yes, much better,"

"Why don't you have a girlfriend?" He faltered, trying to find a way to answer her question. Of course, he knew the exact reasons as to why he was single; actually there was only one reason really, when he thought about it. Victoire Apolline Weasley. But he could hardly tell his 10 year old almost-cousin that.

"You've asked that question already," It was a bad attempt to dodge the question; he knew that, he also knew that Lilly would never fall for it, furthermore he was certain he knew what she would reply.

"You never answered." Yes, he was right, just as he had thought.

"No, I didn't,"

"Well...answer now," There really was no way of getting around this girl.

"I just haven't found th..."

"Don't say you haven't found the right person yet," Seriously? She was only ten? Impossible. She had the intuition of a wise old man. "That's what they say in all the Mum's muggle films when they love someone, but that person doesn't love them back."

"Really, huh?" He paused for a while, wondering if his next question was a wise one to ask and where exactly it would lead. "And what happens in those films?"

"Well, usually the person ends up getting loved back,"

"And the other times?"

"They realise they never loved the first person and fall in love with someone else,"

"And..." He paused again. Was it appropriate to talk about this to her? He decided to stick to the metaphor of the films, hoping she wouldn't figure out the truth bubbling under the surface. "What about the others?"

"What others?"

"The ones that will always be in love with the first person and never get loved in return,"

"Well...there aren't any like them. They don't exist," Teddy nodded slightly, accepting her point. They don't exist. Did that mean someday Vic would realise she loved him? Or did it mean he would somehow find someone else to love? He hoped with all his heart it was the former. But he doubted either would come true. Life wasn't a film. He didn't get a script or 10 takes to get something right. So, did that mean that in real life, there were people like him, out there, existing; forever under the torturous grasp of unrequited love? He hoped so.

He really hoped so.

Because then he wouldn't be alone.


End file.
